well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
