There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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