38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just want nice things and good sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
