The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How does one acquire holy water?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
