I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
