worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just sent this text using only my big toe
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
