Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
