To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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