you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
