hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
