How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
