Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
