dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
