We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
