super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize