I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
