So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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