ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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