I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
