No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
