Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
