butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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