Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
