Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
