Have you finally orgasmed yet?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
