So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
