FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
