sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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