69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
