I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
