It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
