That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
