Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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