For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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