i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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