you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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