Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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