pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
