Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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