If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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