yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
