Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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