My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
