shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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