Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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