White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
