Midget sex pt 2 tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
