apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
