the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
