I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't deserve a penis
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
